Note to John Kerry:
Keep harping on that "foreign leaders like me" meme. People (especially Southerners) really like and respect politicians who depend on the French for approval. Just look at Jerry Lewis, for example. I really think you need to keep emphasising that you have the direct support of the government of Iran to show what a broad-minded, cosmopolitan guy you are. Oh, and mention that North Korea has endorsed you. Steelworkers like the sound of that.
Oh, and one more thing. You really made a big hit with farmers, housewives, and people who attend church when you called that Secret Service guy a "son of a bitch". You need to punch up that angle in your future appearances. Like, pretend to bump into one of your security detail, see, and then say really loud, "Get out of my way, motherfucker! I'm JOHN KERRY!"
That will really get the middle American demographic excited. You'll win in a walk.
Posted on March 19, 2004 09:13 PM